Voluntary Discomfort: Ancient Stoic Wisdom for the Modern World
Introduction
We live cushioned lives, and we try our best to avoid discomfort. We lead sheltered lives, and we build our walls one by one. We congregate in urban landscapes where we’re never alone but know no one, and nobody knows us. We lock ourselves in lonely cells and surround ourselves with watchful eyes, ensuring we’re safe. We venture out only on our conditions when we’ve decided what to wear and how to look. In the company of friends and strangers, we find courage in fermented sugars, and we let the bubbles in our fizzy drinks lift our heads as we inhale our comfortable escape. Our skin is getting thinner, and in our sofas covered in satin pillows deeper; reclines the recluse and the obtuse.
We go to great lengths to avoid discomfort, and we even endure a bit of discomfort for it. Enough exposure leads to comfort, and we learn to sit with the lies like spikes on a mat; as long as we spread it thin enough, there’s a lot of discomfort we would go through for some comfort. When we’re faced with it, we often do so involuntarily, there’s nothing we do willingly except to avoid it. Though we do our best, we can never entirely avoid it; sooner or later, we face the music, and we have to deal with uncomfortable things and situations. In the aftermath, we can realise that the discomfort was like a fertilizer which fed the necessary nutrients to and allowed for extensive personal growth.
Many people have expanded on this idea further: voluntary discomfort. Notably, ancient Stoic philosophers viewed it as a way to fortify themselves against involuntary discomfort, which we will inevitably face in life. While we could wax poetic about the discomforts and comforts of life for much longer, let’s instead get into the crux of the Stoic view on voluntary discomfort.
This post will be divided into three sections. The first details the benefits of deliberately facing discomfort. The second discusses how to incorporate this practice into our daily lives and how to meet discomfort voluntarily. Finally, the third discusses some of the challenges we may face while adopting this practice and some critiques to keep in mind as we set out to incorporate this practical philosophy into our lives.
The Strength of a Stoic
Stoicism is a school of philosophy from ancient Greece. The core belief of the Stoics is that the practice of virtue is enough to achieve eudaimonia: a well-lived life. Notable Stoic thinkers include Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus - two of the latter and many others emphasized the idea that virtue is enough for happiness, and so a philosopher should be emotionally resilient to misfortune. Because of this belief, it’s also generally viewed that the strength of an individual’s argument and philosophy isn’t what the person says but how they behave, especially in the face of adversaries. Today, we use the word ‘stoic’ to describe emotional resilience and strength, believing a person who exhibits indifference to pain, grief and even joy embodies this philosophy.
Certain stoic ideas and ideals have become popular again in our modern times, thanks to a kind of philosophical revival. The promise of emotional resilience, gratitude and fulfilment is alluring to a lot of people. Sure enough, there is a lot to gain from some of these ideas, and today we’re going to be focusing on one practice specifically: voluntary discomfort. It’s a simple yet profound idea that is deeply embedded in the teachings of many stoic thinkers. Exposure to deliberate discomfort is an ancient approach towards self-improvement, and it has become especially appealing to modern man in his endless pursuit of pleasure and convenience. This practice offers a remedy to modern unhappiness and a way towards deeper appreciation for life.
There are many different benefits to embracing discomfort. It helps build resilience, cultivate gratitude and enhance our self-control. Making a conscious effort to leave our comfort zone helps us control and resist various temptations in our lives, and this self-mastery can be applied to a lot of different habits in our lives, like eating healthier, exercising and much more. Voluntary discomfort can also help clarify our needs and desires and increase our mental toughness. Distinguishing between essential needs and superfluous desires is necessary in our consumption-driven society, and by living with less, we learn to value quality over quantity and little over more. Finally, facing discomfort head-on can help us garner empathy and connection to others. Some people face misfortune not by choice but by circumstance. Understanding our connection to others helps us foster a desire within ourselves to contribute positively to the lives of others.
Knowing the benefits we stand to gain from this practice, let’s take a closer look at the practice itself and some things we can do to actively engage with discomfort by choice.
Practicing Voluntary Discomfort
Discomfort is very personal and varies from person to person. There are also different kinds of discomforts; some are physical, and others are mental. This becomes very clear when we look at this practice online and how differently we as people perceive it. When reading about this practice online, a lot of tips seem so out of touch with reality that it’s almost laughable. Cold showers might seem like a revolutionary idea to somebody whose marble bathroom is lined with gold, but to a person who doesn’t have hot water all year round, this may be normal. It’s important to remember that discomfort is different for different people, and one should not judge and compare oneself to others. Don’t be discouraged because somebody has it easier or worse than you. You decide what is uncomfortable for you.
Discomfort can mean a lot of different things; it may be an inconvenience, it may be burdensome, and it may be demanding or scary. It means a lot of different things to different people. To get the most out of the practice, figure out what it is you want to improve and what makes you feel discomfort and then seek it out. A person who is inconvenienced by cooking and tends to eat fast food could benefit from facing the tedious task of cooking homemade meals. Somebody who finds silence awkward can dedicate periods of a day to silence. There are a lot of different things we can do: figure out what is most discomforting to you or even what your biggest comfort is. If we find ourselves consoled by our phones, we should try to spend less time on them. If we find ourselves gluttonous, we can practice fasting. Go out and enjoy the bad weather - whatever it is that is your great comfort, face the opposite of it. Because there will be days when that comfort will be taken away from you.
Any task you find boring, tedious, or difficult or find yourself avoiding it for one reason or another, go out and do it. There is no better way to practice voluntary discomfort than doing the things you like the least. Facing your fears and taking small steps will amount to you traveling great distances. Do the boring chores and replace your rewards for doing them with something less. Deny yourself these comforts, and you will soon find that life isn’t as unbearable as you thought it was without them. You might find a new gratitude for the things you have, for your good health and for the fact that your struggles are so small you get to face them on your own terms.
Let this practice become a counterbalance to the comfort and convenience of modern life, and let it help you develop a deeper appreciation for the simple pleasures in life that allow you to live more sustainably and contentedly. Be realistic and approach this practice with discernment, ensuring that it contributes positively to your growth and well-being. Let it be a powerful tool to connect with the small things in life, not as a way to appear more virtuous or better than others. With that, let’s look at some of the challenges we may face and some critiques of the Stoic practice of voluntary discomfort.
Challenges and Critique
There are many benefits to this practice, and as always, anything worthwhile doesn’t come without challenges. The first and most common downside, as with any practice that seeks to improve us as people by humbling and appreciating less in life, is the development of ego. We should be conscious and on watch so that we take these practices to heart, not because it will make us appear better than others but to genuinely allow us to lead better lives. If our priority is to talk with others about how many cold showers we take in a day or how many retreats we’ve been to, this could be a sign that we might be really uncomfortable with how others may view us. It should then be in our interest to detach from this by facing this discomfort and not caring so much about how others perceive us. Another common trap we can fall into when practicing this part of Stoicism is the misinterpretation of discomfort.
As previously stated, this is very personal, and it’s easy to overlook the areas we need to work on for easier comforts. This is counter-productive. If you’re a person who struggles with emotional comfort but not physical, then that’s an area you should be taking a look at. Cold showers, physical labour and sleeping on the floor aren’t going to help you face that emotional discomfort which you really need. We often subconsciously take the easy route, and this practice is not different in that way, so we should be careful to make sure that when we voluntarily face our discomfort, we do not do so out of comfort. We also must discern between beneficial discomfort and harmful deprivation and make sure that some things stay uncomfortable. It goes without saying that if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of hurting somebody, you don’t go facing that discomfort to improve as a person. Don’t play games of semantics and interpretation, but be honest and discerning with yourself. This balance isn’t easy.
Striking a balance can be one of the more difficult challenges that we face trying to embody this Stoic mindset. Balancing beneficial discomfort and unnecessary suffering is important, but so is balancing the unique challenges modern life represents. This includes our social lives, personal relationships and responsibilities. We should also be careful not to fall into extremes; if the pursuit of discomfort becomes masochistic or an end in itself rather than a path towards self-growth and understanding, it becomes problematic. Take the time to recognise and reflect on your practice and the reasons you do it, and check in with yourself and your surroundings. You can’t expect people to understand your reasoning, especially because so many of us try our hardest to avoid discomfort, but it’s important to be able to communicate with your family and friends, especially if they express concerns. Be respectful and responsible and recognise the final challenge and critique: your privilege.
Yes, for most of us, the ability and even desire to deliberately feel discomfort is a privilege. Most people who face discomfort, danger and misfortune not by choice but by circumstance don’t even consider going out of their way to experience more. To even have the choice to engage with this practice meaningfully comes from a position of privilege and accessibility. It’s important to recognise the fact and to engage with the practice from a place of humility and awareness. Voluntarily facing discomfort, however, will make us better prepared for facing negative circumstances in a better and healthier way. The benefits of this Stoic practice far outweigh the challenges and critiques we’ve posed here. It’s important to keep them in mind, however, to get the most out of it and to be able to overcome the trials and tribulations we may face if we decide to deliberately approach discomfort.
Final Words
Voluntary discomfort is a central practice and idea in Stoic philosophy that has its roots in ancient Greece. The benefits of this practice, however, are still great and useful to this day, and there’s a lot we can gain from being uncomfortable and facing adversaries. Growth happens when we’re challenged, both physically and mentally. It will better prepare us for the circumstances of life, make us stronger and healthier and make us more emotionally resilient. If we take this practice seriously, we become better at exercising self-control, and through this self-discipline, we can achieve other goals in our lives. This eventually leads to richer and more fulfilling lives as we approach each small thing with gratitude and with a deeper connection. The way we approach this practice is unique to each individual.
Everyone has things they find discomforting and things they can work on. Facing one’s fears and voluntarily approaching discomfort is something unique to each person. There are physical, mental and emotional comforts we all rely on, and identifying what makes us comfortable is a good way to find out where we need to go to grow. What you do and don’t should depend on what you’re able to do, but do not be afraid and do not find excuses - face your challenges head first and be courageous, independent of what they are to others. Along with the practice being unique to each person, it also presents unique challenges.
The kind of challenge you face will depend on what discomfort you deliberately expose yourself to, and what you approach should depend on what you personally need to and want to improve. Be discerning and be honest with yourself. Don’t judge others and look to yourself that you do not take up the practice for selfish gains; instead, cultivate a deeper understanding and empathy for others by recognising your own opportunities and weaknesses. Don’t be fooled by the comforts of choosing the discomforts that seem the easiest to you, and don’t be afraid to get out of your bubble, break the barrier of your comfort zone and expand the border of your knowledge and wisdom.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
