The Legacy of Your Work
Introduction
Human memory - famously known to be one of the most reliable things in the universe, and history is an undisputed fact providing a nuanced and objective full view of the past. Carved in rock, scribbled on papyrus, and stored in the digital aether, the memoir of human history is an epic tale of heroes, villains, and their deeds, large and small. Despite the billions of humans that have lived and still live to this day one might be led to believe that everything we’ve accomplished has been done by a handful of individuals ,and that this is still the case today.
To have your face and name plastered in the great yearbook of humankind has become the holy grail for artists, politicians, inventors, and many more. Our values as human beings are often directly attributed to how we are remembered and our legacy. To some people the morals and ethics of that legacy are less important, what matters is being remembered even if it is for ill deeds. After all, some of our most famous and notorious people in history have been dictators, serial killers, and morally abhorrent people. We have a fascination with the darker side of our human psyche, and it’s a basic survival instinct that bad experiences are hard coded into our memory. It’s easy to recall the bad and cringey things we’ve done, we often do not reminisce about the good, instead, our conscience comes crawling to the cross before sleep takes us to the land of blissful forgetfulness. We excuse the bad people and find them in some sort of grey zone where we remind ourselves - that they too are human, and that all humans have good and bad qualities. We however do not remind ourselves of this when it comes to our idols and heroes, often viewing them without critique and as perfect manifestations of the greatest minds amongst us. What is done in the dark will eventually be brought into the light and our great leaders, thinkers, and artists often face posthumous critique by those who learn about the shadows they cast. For the greater the person the greater is the shadow.
Our legacy is one of the greatest existential questions we face as people - no matter who we are and what we do. The fact remains that we too shall perish and that once we are gone and done, all that will remain is our memory, and most of us want to leave behind a positive legacy. It’s a great paradox that we should wish for our loved ones to cry and suffer as we leave this world, we want to have had such a positive influence on them that our absence should cause them direct pain. Although all of us will have a legacy, no matter how insignificant or small it may be, some should still wish to be remembered by the masses. For either good or bad.
The Echo of Greatness
For most people the most desirable outcome should be to leave the world remembered as a great person: a hero, a revolutionary, a great mind, or somebody who changed the planet for the better. Somebody who broke new ground and changed the lives of millions for the better. Somebody who people remain interested in, or praise for hundreds of years, somebody who continues to inspire for generations. An artist wishes for their work to last the test of time, for their writings to continue to be read for hundreds of years, and a painter for their work to only accumulate in monetary value. This kind of legacy is a proof and validation of the dedication and hard work people pour into their work, and for some without this provision, their work will have been in vain. Their blood, sweat, and tears for naught. This is a burning motivator for some and the sole reason behind the work they do.
I was much the same when I was younger, my delusion of grandeur combined with some more narcissistic traits made me a prime candidate for conjuring up fantasies where my work would really matter. I think we do it because it can be horrifying to think that you’ve wasted your life away or to have to accept the fact that you’re not that important. It’s also a sobering thought, but sitting there in the darkness of the night doing your work - you need that flame to keep going, to see what you’re doing. The process of creating is something I still find difficult to articulate to this day, it’s something magical, however, the process itself isn’t always enough. I needed to believe that my work would have an impact, that it would prove every doubter and nay-sayer wrong, and that at last my toil and work would be validated - no, that I would matter. To justify to myself the amount of pain, money, and time I poured into it I needed it to lead to greatness. I would fill my head with delusions of importance and that my work would be remembered and appreciated and with these dreams in sight I pursued with passion my dream, a dream of being worthy of remembrance.
It would take me some years to come down from this trip, to really accept that just because you do something, and you try to be the best at it it doesn’t mean you’re gonna be, and just because you think you’re so much smarter, and this and that than everyone else it doesn’t mean you are. The ego is a very deceitful, albeit protective side of ourselves. Sitting on that high horse and being dragged down into the mud can be very humbling, or it can instill rage and hatred. I had my share of both, and a friend of mine once said that he knew he was going to be famous - for good or for bad. Not being remembered and not having your work validated is to some a fate worse than death, so then some would rather be remembered for something dreadful than forgotten by the world.
The Notorious Nature of Nefariousness
Most stories have a protagonist and an antagonist, and while the protagonist is the centre of attention and has the most pages dedicated to them, the antagonist is usually more important or just as important as the other side characters. Some stories are even better known for their villains than their heroes. The Silence of the Lambs featuring the cannibal Hannibal Lecter as one of its most prominent characters is one example and there’s a lot more. Even the Bible with satan as its antagonist is about as well known as God, some people even going as far as outright worshipping and labelling themselves as satanists. This conflict between good and evil is at the core of a lot of storytelling and a lot of human history, and sometimes evil becomes more famed than the Good. One of the most well-recognised and remembered people in modern history is an Austrian painter with a funny little moustache who for a brief period was the leader of Germany. There is a certain kind of celebrity status amongst the nefarious that can even out-achieve the benevolent benefactors of humanity.
This has led some fame-chasing goblins to commit atrocious acts, and with the slogan “there is no bad publicity” they set out to do whatever they feel the need to do to be remembered. Mass shootings and school shootings have become synonymous with some kind of hi-score where whoever manages to take the most lives will be placed on the top of the notoriety scale. While this of course isn’t the motivation for all bad people, it is a strong drive in some, and we could discuss why that is for a very long time, citing both psychology and philosophy the fact however remains. That some people who aren’t seen, loved, and validated and who can’t seem to do it for themselves, seek out sick means to be validated, and validated they will be. Male serial killers in prison tend to get a lot of love letters and admiration from women, and in some messed up way this affirms that what they’ve done is right in some way. It can also validate their work and get their message out, because if a person feels what they’re saying is of enough importance to the world - then no controversy will stop them, only help them. This message in their work can be religious, political, or any other.
Radical feminist writer Valerie Solanas is known for her political manifesto titled SCUM but also perhaps more well known for her attempted murder of the artist Andy Warhol in 1968 a year later after she self-published the manifesto. The Norwegian far-right extremist Anders Breivik cited his reason for murdering 69 people to be publicising and bringing attention to his political manifesto which he emailed out on the day of the attack. Theodore Kaczynski the “UNA-bomber” also wrote a political and societal manifesto, and wrote to the New York Times that he would stop sending bombs to people if they published his manifesto. He viewed his actions as brutal but necessary to get his point across. These people are but a few examples throughout history, and it’s hard to say if their works have become more known because of their actions but I do believe so. That isn’t to say they couldn’t have achieved it by other means, yet out of desperation or narcissism they viewed themselves and their work as more important than others and were willing to sacrifice others for their own benefit. To these people their own life and the lives of others become worthless and completely devoid of meaning unless they produce and contribute to their work; in their eyes, they have made martyrs of their victims who have died for the cause of the perpetrator, these people who would have otherwise probably been forgotten have now been sanctified through human sacrifice to appease a greater cause.
The root of this is evil, egotism, and a darker more sinister side of the human psyche. A side which is afraid of the oblivion of amnesia, who fears being forgotten, and who above all fears not having contributed to the world. This fear rules and dictates these people and their actions, by any means justify the end - an end they believe to be for the better of the world, an end where their work changes the world. To these desperate souls, the other option is far worse than being dead, to have their entire life’s work be extinguished with them and not have left their fingerprint upon the pages of the book of history. That fingerprint is proof to them that they lived, and that their life and their work accomplished something. This dangerous and dreadful delusion turns the desperate - deranged.
The Third Way - Oblivion
You’re either remembered for your greatness or your smallness, but of course, there is an often forgotten and overlooked third way - to not be remembered by the world. In this natural world, this is how most things are, every individual flower, animal, and even human being is forgotten. What people forget, even those who so desperately want to be remembered - is the fact that eventually all is forgotten. It can be a blessing or a curse to realise your insignificance, it can both liberate and fetter you in heavy chains.
“Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.” - Ecclesiastes 1:2-3
To accept the fact that you won’t change the world through your work can take the weight off your shoulders, it can liberate you to create unhindered and with a newfound love for the process itself. When you remove your egotism and desire for fame and glory, you can create for creation itself, and you can begin to truly lose yourself in that process, you will detach from delusional hope and expectations and you will ground yourself in the reality of things and realise that it’s not so bad. Cutting yourself free from the reign of your desperation clinging towards external validation and affirmation you will find something more meaningful within, you will find love and acceptance.
It took me a very long time to accept that, and to give up on my delusions, and perhaps it was my narcissism or the naivety of youth that held onto it; eventually, I arrived at the feeling of not needing to have my work validated by the world. Though my ego lies in wait for new glory to bite into, and virtue-signalling with self-righteous humility makes its mouth water. My goals these days are simpler, I just want to do what I love and be able to provide for my family and friends. I want to have a positive impact on my immediate surroundings and the people close to me, that’s all I can hope to do. Because in the end, your legacy isn’t entirely up to you, how people will perceive you and your work isn’t in your hands, you can try to control every aspect and keep your skeletons stuffed away in secured closets but some things are beyond your control and everyone has to make their peace with that fact.
The fact that no one can truly know you; we are born alone and we die alone. No matter what you tell and don’t tell, do and do not do, in the end, it will all have to be between God and you. Are your hands clean? Are they pristine enough to leave a fingerprint on the great book of history or will you too stain it with blood and filth? The book has become almost unreadable and it looks like an abstract finger painting, so many people have wanted a piece of the cake that all that is left is crumbs and a messy place. When the investigators come searching for prints will they too find yours? Our idols and heroes have all been vain, and the shadows they cast in their lives do not escape them in death, most are today under scrutiny and their legacies are forever stained by them being human. None of them have been perfect, it takes more than a man to achieve that. Being forgotten isn’t a burden, do what you love out of that love and not for vain things, do not compromise your happiness to pursue things in this world, things you will soon leave behind. There is a fear that binds almost every artist, every creative, and almost any passionate soul and that is the fear of mediocrity.
The Burden of Mediocrity
One of the greatest hindrances when it comes to creative work is the fear of not being good enough or even worse just being okay at it. Any kind of public work carries with it this fear. What if your art doesn’t invoke any feeling at all? What if it doesn’t instill any emotion in the audience? The thought that your work could be so bland that it achieves nothing is what motivates both good and bad people to do what they do. Most people are by default mediocre, it’s the very meaning of the word. It’s not a measure of value, although we often attribute value to it - it simply is the average, no highs, no lows just the middle ground. Yet it’s such a terrifying thing to so many people. This has always been the case, we all seem to forget so easily that every individual human being lives equally rich lives as us. These days it often manifests itself as the idea of NPCs (Non-player characters - referring to characters in a video game controlled by the game itself and have no autonomy), this main-character syndrome has always existed. Some of the ancient Christian Gnostics believed some people to be completely void of a soul, and this idea isn’t something new. It has served politics and ideologies for ages to dehumanise people and it is still appealing to people today because it attracts their ego and feeds them the idea that they are better than others ,and it removes the fear that they’re just like everyone else, as ordinary, as boring, as mediocre as the rest.
It can be incredibly difficult to create while this fear looms over you, you constantly question your work and everything you do. You become an unfair and harsh critic of your work, and while this may push some to do better it mostly demotivates, and then as a response to this constant subconscious stress - people avoid doing their work, or they give up on it completely. A lot of people like to keep their creative habits as hobbies because of this because they think they aren’t good enough to work with it full-time. I’ll be the first to admit that this is something I still struggle with and I think most artists fight this imposter syndrome on a near-daily basis. Constantly questioning your worth or your choice of career. It is a struggle and a battle with the self. This is amplified by the thought that it’s not only the work you do here and now but also your legacy that will be judged. I think it’s important to remember that the greatest works aren’t necessarily the greatest, they’re just the most commonly appreciated and in this paradoxical way our most famous art, music, and so on is in some way mediocre. Because it appeals to the masses, it’s something so common that almost every person on the planet can enjoy it in some way. It’s not a complex recipe filled with exciting spices and a world of flavours, it’s something as bland as a glass of water, something nearly everyone enjoys. Mass appeal isn't proof of the value of the work and the truth is that a lot of great works are inspired by lesser-known creators.
A work can be incredibly impactful even without a massive audience, and when something is made with love and passion it will reach the right people who need it. It may be a song, a painting, or anything another human has made, and if it touches just one heart it has the power to change the world. Mediocrity isn’t bad and being forgotten isn’t the end of the world, the legacy of your work will be determined by the amount of love, passion, and dedication you pour into it. So don’t let aspiration and ambition drown out your love for the craft. Do your work consciously and for yourself. People don’t know what they want and like - and trying to appeal to the masses won’t appease anyone, but if you love what you do then others will as well. Do not worry about fame, and do not worry about being forgotten - focus on the process. Remember the small hidden gems of artistic creativity you have cherished over the years, it might be an old forgotten song that will never reach the radiowaves but it comforted you when you most needed it. I remember these pieces that have helped and moved me, without ever reaching mass appeal or a larger audience, and that’s enough to keep me going. Your work doesn’t have to be for the entire world, it can just be for one person.
Everything is vain and the sands of time will erode anything you could ever do, there is nothing of your work here that will survive forever. Don’t fall into the trap of your inner evils and do not believe yourself to be so important that injustice, depravity, and wickedness would justify and protect your legacy. Do not abandon hope, there is still time and there is still work to do. So rise with the sun and get your hands busy, toil and do your work with love, and you shall find your conscience and soul washed clean. Do not do your work for the vanity and glory of man, do not do it for monetary gain, these things do not last. Do it for the souls of your fellow humans, speak to and be present with them, to have met them at this period of transition is a beautiful thing, do your work diligently and pour out your heart, let your soul do the speaking and do not worry about any legacy. That is for somebody else to worry about.
“A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they shall never sit.” — Greek Proverb
