Paintings 2023

When we engage in spiritual practices and start to live more spiritually fulfilling lives, we always have to be on constant vigilance against developing a spiritual ego. The spiritual ego is the conception of the self's conception of itself, and it creates itself a new identity centered around the practice of humility; creating and hiding pride in its place. The ego is a tricky thing that fools us through the hardy iron chains which it controls us with, and whenever we try to reduce its control and power, often it is strengthened and resists.

Observing itself observing itself, gives the ego a reason to develop a newfound superiority. It views itself as more spiritual, as more tolerant and more compassionate, and simply as the most humble. All of these are opposites of true spiritual practice, yet when we engage in these conversations and we turn not only preachy but braggy about what we do, we feed our spiritual egos.

If you're able to leave behind all these needs to convert others into your way of life, and you are content with fulfilling your practices in silence and with due diligence then you are freeing yourself from this spiritual ego. As soon as you must in any way shape or form enforce your way of living and thinking onto another, it is your ego seeking control. If you were truly as free of it, as you claim after your ego deaths then you would have no need to tell people about it, except for those who ask.

"If you love true knowledge, devote yourself to the ascetic life; for mere theoretical knowledge puffs a man up" (cf. 1 Cor. 8:1).

- St Mark the Ascetic, Philokalia, Vol. 1 p.125

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Sometimes we get a glimpse through the looking glass. We may see ourselves more clearly or our surroundings, and sometimes we catch a view of something so alien we're not sure it's our own world even. The residue between these worlds may stick to our eyes and we may fall in love with colours we never knew existed.

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The Holy Spirit came down upon the believers in Jerusalem as they celebrated the feast of weeks. Pentekoste is Greek meaning "fiftieth" and it refers to a Jewish festival celebrated on the fiftieth day after the holiday known as Passover. The gathered disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with tongues as of fire.

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This painting took a long time, it's a little more experimental and freeform and to me, it was more of a practice than a complete, realised idea. Because of this, it has gone through many different iterations, once it got to the point where it's finished I just forgot about it, thinking maybe I'd come back to it. Then almost a year later I found it while cleaning out the studio, and because I didn't feel the need to add or change anything about it, I just called it finished.

Technique-wise it's a lot more subtle in its skin textures than a lot of my other portraits, the characteristic strong, bold outlines are still here but the detail is a little more refined than a lot of my other work. Practicing and working with layers I wanted the background to come through and really show in the foreground as well. This is something that does pop up every now and then in my art, other than being symbolic of the relationship with the individual's relationship with the exterior world it also allows for some great layering and texture. This technique is also what helped name it.

Soulless refers to something or someone lacking a soul. In the portrait itself, there are only empty sockets reflecting the material world and the individual appears to be almost an empty husk, just a casket of skin - drying out in the arid cold—an empty vessel holding nothing but the background.

While I like the form and the textures formed by the gentler brush strokes I find the composition a little bit bland. I enjoy painting faces a lot, but my focus on making them the center of the work can sometimes lead to a pretty boring and stale composition in my opinion. Therefore I try to balance it with interesting movement, textures, and colours.

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Have you ever felt like an alien, residing on this planet that is not your own, and have you longed for your true home? You were made from stardust and to it you will return. Inside you resides the entirety, and should you as much as see one of the galaxies hiding in your heart you would be in such awe that the sky would no longer amaze you. The extraordinary that hides in you hides so well, because it would make the mundane so very gray. In the shadow of its gloom, you, yourself bloom.

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In the north of Sweden we have a 5th season we call spring-winter or "vårvinter" in Swedish. Which funnily enough can also be read and understood as "our winter". It's a magical season that combines the best of spring with the best of winter. If winter is dark - vårvinter is light, if spring is wet and cold - vårvinter is arid and warm; this makes vårvinter what we in Sweden refer to as "lagom" meaning "just right". It is a cusp season which lasts long enough here for us to consider it a season of its own, while most of the world gets a day or two of this at best. It is a magical season of warmth and brightness heralding the coming of summer, with still plenty of snow lingering on the ground. Here we like to make the most of coming of the sun, as we've been hibernating in the dark winter we now emerge and go out in nature to enjoy the sun and behold the it glistening against the sun; the last remnants of winter's past.

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Eye-gazing is the act of deeply and intently staring into the eyes of another person. When you lock eyes - eternity feels like seconds and forever turns to a temporary moment here and now. They say that the eyes are a window to the soul, and perhaps those who have looked through a window knows that you need to clean them to see anything, and if there is no light within what could you hope to see what hides in the darkness? Keeping eye contact may be difficult at times, especially with yourself. Have you looked yourself in the eyes in the mirror? Really locking eyes with that wild beast; you'll find that it is harder than you might think. Because in order to stare yourself down you can't look directly in the eyes, you must find another point to look at so that you really meet your own gaze.

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Each person carries their own cross; their own unique suffering, struggles and desires. There is no person in this world that can save you, only you can do that for yourself. Carrying the end of your own self is what will set you free and reunite you with God. You will carry with you your words, actions and deeds and you will leave everything else behind you. On your ascension onwards you will have carried your cross and your burdens lightly and the stairs will be easy to traverse; have you however avoided your burdens your soul will have grown weak and in its fragility it will be chained down to the earth.

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Qvinna is an archaic spelling of the Swedish word "kvinna" meaning "woman". The imagery is simple and portrays a woman. A woman whose inside is an unknowable depth, and within her flows an ocean that few know and see, because beyond her skin, beyond her blood, and beyond her bones it rests, from her toes to her head. She is the tender of life, and whatever is planted she sees to its growth; the ocean quenches the thirst of the land and her inner world brings the richness of light to the material and outer. Whatever you should sow you shall also reap, sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind.

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Everything is in movement, even that which appears so still and so dead. Things move in different directions and at different speeds; some things oscillate between two set points and move with steady rhythm. Other things move in seemingly random patterns but there are laws that determine the rhythm of everything beyond our perception. The actions we do move about as well, and making a habit of it eventually sets it into the law of rhythm, cementing it as a part of our being. We should be watchful over what we do and what we think, as all motion leads somewhere.

The first movement wasn't in any outer direction; it was inwards; from which point it then moved outwards in a circular motion expanding evermore towards its eternal form.

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Mystery and intrigue; the stranger is a whispering tale of all that they can be, their unlimited potential hidden in the unknown. While the known is a screaming promise of all it is and all it will be; unlimited potential hiding in plain sight. Try on the masks you don and see how they suit your face, and when the company's gone and the secrets you have shared go with them you can finally reveal the words that no one else hear you say. Can you ever let them see the stranger you hide, even your lover; will you show them the stranger that you hide within yourself?

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This painting was a commission made by the partner of one of my old childhood friends, they're both dear friends to me and to work on this project was an honour and a great opportunity to widen my horizons. The painting is based on a work made by my good friend many years ago. I tried to stay true to the original image while incorporating my own style and a lot of personal details and references for my good friends. The end result is the visual equivalent of a cover song and a tribute to the two of them and their journey together.